Surviving The Emotional Roller Coaster – Becoming Resilient

Surviving The Emotional Roller Coaster – Becoming Resilient

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Persistence and resilience only come from having been given the chance to work through difficult problems ~ Gever Tulley


When a crisis creates emotional upheaval in your life, what do you do? Are you the kind of person who takes it in stride and manages to stay upright as you navigate choppy waters or do you end up drowning in the stress, overwhelm and chaos?


When you are emotionally resilient, you have the ability to adapt to stressors in your life that can include such intense experiences as death, divorce, relocation, marriage, birth of a child, job loss or illness or that can simply be moments within a day that trigger you (think getting cut off in traffic or having an argument with your spouse). No matter the degree of severity, developing emotional resilience can be the saving grace that consistently delivers inner peace and wellbeing in your life no matter what is going on around you.

How Resilient Are You?  

Take the test: For each of the following 10 questions, choose a score between 1 and 5 with 5 being the most accurate depiction of you:

  • I take 100% responsibility for what happens in my life and feel personally empowered to seek solutions.
  • I always am aware of what I am feeling and seek to understand why I am feeling it.
  • I tend to sense and feel what is going on emotionally with others.
  • I don’t give up easily and usually am able to stay focused and active when it comes to achieving a personal goal.
  • I generally approach any stressful situation with a positive attitude and believe there are many choices available to me.
  • I know how to ask for help when I need it. I believe in the saying “No man is an island.”
  • I have the ability to see the humorous side of any problems I face in my life. I believe finding the lighter of a situation is important.
  • When I make a mistake, I search for the meaning in the adversity and feel overcoming any obstacles just makes me stronger.
  • When facing hardship, I am able to look for the broader context by asking “What is this about for me?”
  • I consider myself to be spiritual and I feel part of something more than just my own physical existence.

The closer your score is to 50 points, the more emotionally resilient you are.


Improve Your Resiliency Score

Even though resilience is in part embedded in your emotional genetic make up, it is possible to develop resilient responses to life’s stressors as well.

If you are not fortunate enough to have been born with a calm and collected nature, here are a few tips to help you build your ability to maintain your ‘zen’ when fire is raging around you:

  • Know and accept who you are and embrace that you can change. Even though part of your temperament is inborn and enduring, it is possible to minimise the set influences of childhood and your essential nature.
  • Become the ‘glass half-full’ type of person. Defocus and de-personalize the negative events that occur in your life. Instead, find the positive side of events in order to become more confident and to develop more inner trust in relationships.
  • Support your ability to manage stress and overwhelm by taking care of yourself –get sufficient sleep, eat a healthy diet, and engage a regular exercise routine.
  • Learn to use such tools as deep breathing, spending time in nature, and meditation to help you recover from stress events that trigger your emotional reactivity.
  • Develop the courage and strength to work through the tough times. Hold the vision for positive outcomes and believe in your ability to see the right rather than the wrong in your experiences.


When you can appreciate and extract the good in even the most unpleasant or difficult experiences in your life, you begin to build greater emotional maturity and resilience. Your ability to become inwardly peaceful, strong and confident will turn down the volume on the stress and overwhelm that can trigger reactivity. Overall, life becomes more manageable and expansive.


For more information about Breathwork, feel free to contact John Stamoulos at :   john@johnstamoulos.com

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