Dealing with the Tug-of-War in Relationship

Dealing with the Tug-of-War in Relationship

The cornerstone of a conscious relationship is its commitment to open, heart-based connection and sharing. ~ John Stamoulos


The hectic pace and demands of the Holiday Season can magnify stress and generate conflict in close relationships. That conflict can become an opportunity to heal and grow. When confrontations arise, it is possible to explore the deeper issues that are often triggered by the discord. Here are some ways you can move through with grace, courage, and mindfulness:


Three Steps for Conflict Resolution When the Heat Turns Up:


  • Self-love is essential to your ability to be confidently honest during any conflict. What is your level of self-worth? Are you confident in your own skin?


Figure emerges from the comos 

  • Do you trust in the strength of your love and do not worry whether your partner loves you or not
  • Are you willing to work through problems to resolution
  • Do you have healthy boundaries that enforce what is and is not acceptable for you
  • Do you have the capability to choose what is right for you and for your well-being







  • Seek balance through meaningful and respectful communication with another – How willing are you to connect with shared love?



  • Create a safe and free space where you can share
  • Set ‘Fair Play’ Rules – no exiting, no shutting down and no hiding true feelings
  • Choose your words carefully and listen deeply to your partner. Find mutual understanding and share your perspective clearly
  • Be patient. Take breaks. You can always re-visit the issue at a later time.
  • Seek outside help. Find a Breathworker who can assist you together or individually.
  • Let your undivided attention, authentic intention and purest honesty see and honour the God in the other.





 Identify the good in the relationship and appreciate it. How well do you truly see your partner? How can you love when you aren’t feeling loving?



  • Invite joy, and love through seeing the strengths and goodness of your partner.
  • What do you appreciate about your partner? Their creativity? Passion? Honesty? Courage?


Try this -> Write down five things you appreciate about your partner and read them out loud to each other

Try this -> Record five examples of strength and courage your partner has shown and share.




Tips to nurture trust and appreciation in a relationship:

  • acknowledge and support the interests and skills of the other
  • find ways to incorporate their strengths into your life together
  • ask questions that demonstrate that you desire their opinion.
  • when success or failure  is of the picture, offer support and presence
  • be willing to allow others to be who they are and celebrate their individuality



The process of developing a conscious, conflict management capability in any relationship with others applies to self and nature as well. It takes time to nurture loving connections more mindfully but it always provides profound and sacred opportunities to heal and grow.

Little planet panorama yoga pose sunset

Re-set, Re-adjust, Re-start, Re-focus … as many times as you need to ~ David Wolfe


For more information about Breathwork, feel free to connect with John Stamoulos at www.johnstamoulos.com



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