We are responsible for our own reality and existence. No one is going to change the world for you ~ unknown
While it may seem like a tiresome, boring and worn out concept, taking responsibility for your life offers high rewards in terms of personal growth and resilience.
In a responsible life, you are 100% accountable for everything– your actions, feelings and thoughts, even (and especially) the experiences you don’t like. When you compromise, lie, deny, justify, blame or react, you are not accepting responsibility for your life and are instead acting out of victimhood.
Take the Quiz – What is Your Responsibility IQ?
1] Rate (1-10, 10 being the most) your level of responsibility for
- Following through on the promises you make to self and others? ______
- Accepting responsibility for your actions? Do you blame others or make excuses for situations? ______
- Reminding yourself of appointments and arriving on time? ______
- Being trustworthy (honouring others’ confidence/possessions) ______
- Thinking things through and using good judgment to make choices _______
- Getting things done right away rather than procrastinating _______
- Communicating your needs clearly and saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ _______
- Taking the time to heal past hurts and wounds and forgiving yourself ______
- Knowing what you want and taking steps to achieve your desires ______
- Taking care of your health and well-being – exercise, nutrition, rest _____
Add up your totals – 100% responsible = a score of 100. Where are you on the scale?
2] Create your own guidelines for taking personal responsibility:
Consider your ratings to the above questions and create a list of top 3 items that need your attention. Where do you need to be more accountable for your behaviours, thoughts and feelings? What steps can you take to generate a responsibility response in those areas of your life?
- Do you need to be clear about what you want and communicate those desires to others and to yourself?
- Do you need to do more healing of the wounds from your past with support from therapy, Breathwork, meditation, or affirmations practices?
- Do you need to develop more trustworthiness by following through on promises?
- Do you need to refrain from blaming others for your circumstances and accept your part in the experiences?
Place the list along with the action steps in a prominent place where you will see it daily.
Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Responsibility Through Surrender
In becoming conscious of taking personal responsibility, it is important to:
- be willing to notice and question your reactions to events,
- accept outcomes even if they are not what you expected,
- release your need to complain when things don’t work out as planned
- look for hidden opportunities in an experience that seems negative
- trust that there is universal wisdom at play directing your circumstances.
- choose to let go of past unfulfilled goals and move forward
Having the ability to look at every life moment like this means you have learned to surrender to the reality of the moment. Cultivating this kind of accountability builds flexibility and resilience.
Personal Responsibility – What’s In It for You?
Working your responsibility response muscle can result in:
- Personal empowerment from not blaming others and being self-motivated.
- Self trust and sense of self-worth from making choices without influence from external sources.
- Inner strength and control when the choices you make are on behalf of yourself.
- Proactive pursuit of goals and desires in alignment with your personal truth.
- Ability to discern what is your responsibility and what belongs to another. Focusing on your stuff frees up energy and personal focus.
- A constant and automatic flow of responsibility even for the small things – returning phone calls, paying bills, being on time.
- You become your best and most realistic version of who you are that generates self love, self respect, stability and inner peace.
Accepting responsibility demands you know yourself at the most intimate level. It means being in integrity with what you think and feel, what you say and how you act.
For more information on Breathwork, feel free to connect with John Stamoulos at www.johnstamoulos.com